[Student Story] Deceiver, Dissembler

Long ago, in the olden days of yore, in January, I posted about a liar-pants issue in my classroom (here and here).  Yesterday the same events started to unfold and ended a little differently.  I thought you might be interested as you dither on and on about if she learned her lesson or not...*

Phone-Borrower Kidlet asked to lay on the couch during break.  She curled into an awkward looking corner.  The other classroom teacher called and let me know that another student saw a Phone-Lender Kidlet (a different one than before) give his phone to Phone-Borrower. Phone-Lender was denying it.  I stood up, walked over to Phone-Borrower, held out my hand, and she put the phone in my hand.  I asked her to write down what happened, she told most of the truth, and went quietly to ISS where she served her time.

So.  Lesson learned?  Possibly.  She didn't lie this time, right?  It didn't take two days of hard-core ISS and detective work to figure it out.  AND, it was a DIFFERENT Phone-Lender this time. I'll give it a 6 out of 10 on the lesson learned scale.



*Note--In my secret super-powered brain you dither on and on about my posts.  Let me have this illusion for now.

* Note #2--BTW and FYI, while deciding on the title to this post I found the possible origin for the liar-liar-pants-on-fire rhyme.  Here 'tis.  It may not be correct, but I like the concept.  The website looks interesting too.

Deceiver, dissembler

Your trousers are alight

From what pole or gallows

Shall they dangle in the night?

When I asked of your career

Why did you have to kick my rear

With that stinking lie of thine

Proclaiming that you owned a mine?

When you asked to borrow my stallion

To visit a nearby moored galleon

How could I ever know that you

Intended to turn him into glue?

What red devil of mendacity

Grips your soul with such tenacity?

Will one you cruelly shower with lies

Put a pistol ball between your eyes?

What internal serpent

Has lent you his forked tongue?

From what pit of foul deceit

Are all these whoppers sprung?

Deceiver, dissembler

Your trousers are alight

From what pole or gallows

Do they dangle in the night?

[William Blake]

Goal Progress: 7/20

[Student Behavior] Lamby-Pie

One of my little lambs does not know how to ask for attention--from anyone.  To get attention from his peers he has done any number of the following (singularly or in combination):

• throwing pencils
• tearing up paper and sprinkling on their head
• tearing up paper and throwing it at them
• clapping loudly each time they try to speak
• coughing repeatedly if they try to speak or work
• knocking their pencil off of their desk
• kicking their chair or table
• calling them names (ranging from stupid to full-scale racial slurs)
• accusing them of bullying him
• accusing them of calling him names (usually the name he just called them)
• twirling multiple pencil erasers or caps on the table (his own little flea circus)
• biting his own lip and accusing someone of hitting him
• getting hit or punched by another student for sympathy
• asking people to be his friend (multiple times)
• asking people why they don't like him
• making fun of the teacher in the hopes that someone will think it's cool

Now, none of this by itself is that odd (ok, maybe a couple of them).  What makes this kiddo stand out is the CONSTANCY of his actions.  If he is not getting attention (positive or negative) in any 60-second period of time, he will try one or more of these tactics.  We've tried to teach the other kidlets to ignore, but after days of this, they often lose their cool.

The positive side?  The kidlets are learning good ignoring skills.  The difficult side?  Our little attention-seeking lamb is constantly getting exactly that--attention.  We watch him every second but he still manages to get the attention he is seeking. He's been yelled at, kicked, punched, slapped, tripped.  He has been bandaged, ice-packed, separated, counseled, sent home, and even suspended when necessary.  He's been counseled, punished, talked to, ignored--everything I can think of.

Yesterday I resorted to the Offside Rule.  More to come on that.

[Student Story] Hanging on a Telephone Wire

So, I asked what you would do in the case of a set of Pants on Fire. Thank you for the suggestions and ideas. Here is what went down:

I put Phone-Borrower in a room away from everyone for awhile (if I say how long it will sound mean). I tried dialing the phone to see if she was silly enough to leave it on--no luck. I went back in and again explained the facts of the situation. Everything pointed to the obvious answer that she was not telling the truth. I never quite said "you are lying" because accusations seem to shut them down more quickly than anything else. I said that I wanted to believe her, but that the facts were not supporting her. I said she could clear her name if she would let us call her grandparents and they could bring the phone (since she was saying it was at home). This is where she started to lose ground. She didn't want us to call. She wanted to bring it the next day. I hounded her with the idea of clearing her name by making sure we had it back. She finally broke down and said someone else was holding it for her but she didn't want them to get in trouble. Eventually, we got the name of that person and we got the phone back. 

THEN I told her that she lied. I said it very clearly and showed my disappointment. I told her that the next step was to lose the attitude, stop trying to back her way out of the lie, and own up to the people that mattered. I told her that I expected her to talk to her mom that evening and own up to what she did. I made sure she knew that even in her lie other students backed her up, and she owed them an apology, too (since they would now be in trouble as well).

Did it work? Well... I thought it may have had an impact. But, the next day when she came to serve her In-School Suspension she was a jerk. I decided to be a hard-ass and put her in ISS again the next day. She started out with an attitude, but adjusted it slightly. At the end of the day it was discovered she had taken the iPod of a family member and given it to another student in our program. Yesterday, she was awful again. So no, it didn't "work." However, she is on a path of some kind and this is a step on that path. She is begging for boundaries and we are working with the family to make sure they are there when she pushes against them. I found out a little more about what might be going at home that is triggering this, and its bad enough that I can't share it here. She needs hugs and loves as much as she needs clear limits and consequences. We'll keep trying to give her both. Hey Mom and Dad--sound familiar?

As for Phone-Lender. We worked with him to call his mom and admit he had not "lost" the phone and that he had given it to Phone-Borrower. I asked him what the "valuable life lesson" was and he immediately said "don't lend out your phone." Well done my little Poodle-head. 

[Student Story] Pants on Fire

What is the right thing to do?

Kidlet #1 is despondent.  He finally lets me know that he has let another student "borrow" his cell phone and she has not returned it for nearly a week.  He is in big trouble at home, but will only tell his mom that the phone is "lost."  He just wants the phone back.  I make a plan with Phone-Lender Kidlet that I will talk to Phone-Borrower Kidlet, but I will make sure she knows he did not "snitch."

In the meantime, I check my voice mail at work.  Phone-Borrower Kidlet's mom had called checking if she was at school the day before since Phone-Borrower Kidlet is, apparently, also Run-Away-From-Home Kidlet. When I returned her mom's call, I also found out that yes, indeed, Phone-Borrower had a phone and the number of the phone she had matches Phone-Lender's number.  Easy-peasy, right?

I talk to Phone-Borrower and she calmly explains that she did borrow the phone, but it is at home.  She is contrite, she will return it, all will be well.  I call her mom to let her know all is taken care of.  Her mom is confused though, because Phone-Borrower has just sent her mother a text message telling her that she should not have "snitched" on her.  Her mom ensures me that the text was sent and arrived in the last hour (11:41 am exactly).

I talk to Phone-Borrower again.  She swears the phone is not in her possession.  I know this trick, so I ask if it is in someone else's possession, or on campus in any way.  She swears it is not.  I ask her how the text message was sent.  She swears she does not know.  I explain how when the facts are pointing straight at you, it is best to just own up.  She stands by her assertion that the phone is not in her possession, it is not on campus, and she does not know how it managed to send a text message to her mom disguised as her.

So.  What would you do at this point?

November Is Over

But December has its issues, too.

Today included the following (remember, this is out of 22 students):

V. was assigned In School Suspension for defying another teacher on Friday and laughing, talking, and climbing a fence.  ISS at our school means the student has to sit off to the side of the rest of the class (we only have a room to use part of the time and a staff member to sit in it the other part of the time).  V.  didn't want to be in ISS, and didn't want to work, and didn't want to remain upright and off of the floor.  This was an all-day issue evidenced by multiple phone calls, visits, and reminders to V.  With 30 minutes to go V. decided he should go home.  He wanted to call his guardian.  I explained that he could, but that when he did he'd have to explain the actual reason he wanted to leave (to get out of ISS) and that I didn't think it was his best plan.  He called anyway.  No such luck on the home-going and now V. has given away the fact that he was misbehaving.  Much sighing and floor-rolling commenced.  Data entered into computer.

J. #1 was assigned ISS for laughing and fence-climbing (see above).  His ISS was only for half of a day because when he was told to stop laughing and fence-climbing, he did (more or less).  Turns out J. didn't want to be in ISS either.  He took fewer reminders though, before he got the hint.  BUT, the first period he returned to class he decided to pull his pants down (shorts on underneath--don't freak out) and waddle around like an old man for the guest teacher.  Back to ISS he went.  This led us to a phone call home.  The phone call home involved multiple people because his guardians do not speak English.  J. was quite surprised to hear this call would be made and immediately regained his composure (What???  When does THAT work with my kids?)

J. #2 does not like to work.  So he didn't.  This is an all-day affair.  It also includes J. wandering around the room looking for toys to play with while he does not work, said toys being removed from his reach, and more wandering.  It also includes discussions, detention, ISS, and phone calls home.  No change in behavior.  Many emails to parents, therapist, and staff to schedule a parent conference--again. Data entered into computer.

Another student came with an injury that required a phone call to Child Protective Services.  This is a serious determination to make on my own, and required many phone calls and emails.  It also means I have to find a 30 minute period of uninterrupted time during which to call.  This is rarely possible and required the juggling of cats.  Then there is a form to fill out and a fax to send.  Sending the fax calls for leaving the room which did not happen between the hours of 8:30 and 4:15.

Grades are due.  Many emails and phone calls were made in order to get them out today.  Also, probation letters written and signed by the principal for our two students receiving D's and F's (Yes, only two!!! It's possible I work harder than they do to earn them, but I'm trying to teach them what success feels like.  More on that another time)..

J. #4 and C. forgot how to add and subtract.  Both have lower than average IQs, but both are entirely capable of adding.  J.#4 told me she couldn't do the following problem "What is 200 more than 8900?"  Then she couldn't do "What is 1 more than 37?"  J. #4 knows how to add.  We've been working on it for a year and a half.  C. forgot, but then remembered.  Then C. forgot how to convert decimals to fractions, so we reviewed that, too.

The district writing assessment is due this week.  The little Piggies know how to do this, but freaked out when it was time to do the assessment.  They forgot everything they knew, told me they couldn't do it, hated reading, hated writing, didn't know how to write, didn't know how to read.  Much pep-talking and reminding ensued.  They remembered some of it. This will continue tomorrow.

J #3 refused to read today (see above).  Refusal is mildly acceptable, but constantly talking to the Piggies trying to read was not.  He was eventually sent to another room to complete the reading but refused all day.  All alternate assignments offered also refused.  Detention assigned, data entered into computer. Emails sent to coordinate meeting to discuss his behavior plan which does not appear to be the magic fix (sarcasm here).

C. was rude during her lunch detention today. Discussion with C.  Further lunch detention assigned. Data entered into computer.

The 8th grade Piggies came down with 8th grade disease today and were rude to the guest teacher this afternoon.  Campfire was called.  Pep talk ensued.  Day improved.

New photography unit started today.  The 6th and 7th grade Piggies were not able to listen, so little progress was made.  Will try again tomorrow.

Multiple students earned PE detention.  I held it in my room during my prep period. This means no bathroom break, but it provides opportunity to try to get into the heads of the detainees. Small dent into psyche was made  for J #2 and V #1. Am quite certain psychic dent pops back into place the minute they leave the room.

M. ripped a hole in her sweatshirt at PE.  Taking it home to sew it for her.

V. #2 came to "help out" after school because this is where she gets her human interaction for the day (not at home).  I found something for her to do.

And, *sniff sniff* I have a cold.

The point today?  Any time you read about how education is failing our kids, remember what it is our society is asking education to do these days.  I love my little piggies, I even love them on days like today.  Their issues don't make me angry at them, they make me worried for them.  So that is the point.  That, and I'm tired and think sympathy would be extra-special nice.  That, that, and I think y'all might want to wish a teacher well this holiday season.  They're bustin' their butts out there!

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

On days like today, I am quite certain that my little sweet-niks simply cannot hear me.  It isn't that they cannot hear (although one of them used to have a hearing loss), and it isn't that they have an auditory processing deficit (although quite a percentage of them do), and it isn't that they are having trouble paying attention for a medical reason (which, they most certainly are).  While I have no research to support this, I am quite certain that there is an electrical short that occurs on days like today, causing their brains to emit a low pitched buzzzzzzing sound inside their heads.

Through this sound they can hear the hint of my voice, a vague idea that someone is making noise in their general vicinity, but their brains are unable to link the sounds they hear to things they know.  Additionally, they are not able to connect the visual cues of someone standing in front of them giving directions, to sounds in their brain. This makes the following of simple directions difficult at best.  In fact, it confuses them to no end. Here is what a typical classroom conversation looks like when the Buzzing Disease has infected the room:

Teacher says: "How was your break?"
Student hears: "How was your break?"
Student translates: "Oh, we have free time?"

Teacher says: "Go ahead and get started on your work."
Student hears: "Go ahead and bzzzzzzzzzzz."
Student translates: "Oh cool!  We have free time!"

Teacher says: "Take out your orange folder, please."
Student hears: "bzzzz out buzzzzzz please"
Student assumes: "Wow!  We still get free time? This is SO cool!"

Teacher says: "I see you are having a hard time hearing me today.  Give me a moment here--please get your orange folder out."
Student hears: "Bzzzzzzzz please do something bzzzzzzzzz."
Student assumes: "I'll bet she wants me to have a pencil out.  Too bad I don't have one.  *smile*

Teacher says: "LOVIES!!!!  WHERE ARE YOU???"
Student hears: "Bzzz BZZZ Bzzz Bzzz" (but sees visual cue of concern on teacher's face)
Student assumes: "Someone must be in trouble.  So glad it isn't me.  *smile*

I love them, I do.  Seriously though, someone needs to find a cure for the Pre-Teen Buzzing Disease.  I'll offer up my room for the clinical trial.

Whoopsie

This caped teacher does not know the strength of her powers.  Earlier this week I said this:

"Our kids this year are not your typical punk kids.  We have many fewer gun-totin', teacher-hitting, drug-using turkey-butts than in the past.  This year our kids border on sweet (key word--border), just don't fit in, and just... need."

I should not have taunted karma in this way.

Yesterday, one of those bordering-on-sweet-needy kids lost it.  She lit out on another student, shoving a staff person on her way, and repeatedly kicked and punched him (the kid, not the staff person).  She wouldn't stop.  Screaming, swearing, dodging furniture as he tried to get away (and the teacher tried to help him get away).  He got up and ran down the hall to the office and she followed him.  In the end, she had injured four other staff members and was in the back of a police car kicking and screaming.  

Oh.  My. Goodness.  She just... lost it.  All we know is this...

• The child she went after had been almost hit by another student the day prior for being... irritating.  
• The child she went after can, indeed, be irritating.
• She has had similar issues in the past.  It appears this happens when she hasn't taken her medication. There is no way to determine this though. The parent does not share this information.

What I can guess is...

• The teacher was out of the room for a minute, and the two other staff in charge are more quiet-voiced and less assertive when it started.  This may have allowed the other child to be more irritating, but that is just a guess.
• She has trouble moderating her moods (statement of the obvious, I know) and her social skills are still at the chasing-boys-at-recess level.  That day she had some big emotions (fear and relief) related to a classroom project she was working on, and that may have put her off-kilter.
• The other student has a remarkable propensity to bother other people.  We had been working almost constantly with him to curb that. Even with a staff member right next to him all day he was poking, kicking chairs, stealing pencils, etc.  I had to stop and count to five several times working with him.  He could test the patience of a stone statue.

So.  The lessons today?  Do not tempt fate by making sweeping statements about the sweetness of your little poodle-heads. Apparently karma has a wicked sense of humor.

Next lesson, while it is true that physically restraining kids only leads to escalating the behavior, there are times when the behavior has reached a point that there is no other choice.  This is a mental battle for me. I fully embrace the idea of not restraining kids. I see it escalate them and know it is not helpful.  In situations like this though, there really is no other choice.  By the time they attempted to restrain her, it took four adults and at least two of those adults were injured.  Debriefing the event, the only thing that could have been done differently was back at the beginning.  When she first got upset, whatever happened right before that--that's the key.  I don't know what that was.  It was not my classroom.  I still feel like I should have done something to stop it, but I know I couldn't have.

Lastly, do not underestimate the power of middle school mood swings. They can really mess you up!

Peace out my caped friends.  It's time to place my thoughts elsewhere and recoup my strength for next week.

Seriously?

from The Onion

I had to break up a fight yesterday.  Let me share some of the phrases that were being bandied about (with some details altered to protect the guilty):

A: "It's 10:55."
B: "Nuh-uh, it's 10:54."
A: "My watch says it is"
B: "Then check your cell phone."
A: "You can't talk to me like that."
B: "You can't talk to ME like that."
Me (trying to come between them):  "How about you let me take care of this?"
A: "You come here and say that to me."
B: "You are being ridiculous."
A: "YOU are being ridiculous!"
Me: (physically moving one of them away) "I will take care of this.  Go stand over there."
A: "It's 10:55 now. "
B: "No it's not.  It's 10:54 and 30 seconds."
A:  "How dare you talk to me like this!"
B: "How dare you talk to ME like this!"
Me: "No.  Really.  Stop.  Now. "

Here is the interesting part.  This was not, as you might safely imagine, an argument between two children. This was between two staff members.  And no, I am not kidding.  There was yelling, posturing, name-calling, accusations.  It was cah-ray-zee.  Get me back to my classroom, please!!!

Averted Eyes

M. is crying.  I am pretty sure it is my fault.  Before you get your knickers in a bunch, though, I will tell you that he is upset because I held him responsible for his actions (or lack of action, to be more specific). He is sitting in the center of the room, at his desk, snuffling.  Red face, runny nose, miserable eyes. 

The other turkey-butts are sitting on pins and needles, pretending they don't see or hear him.  Let me remind you that these are middle-schoolers.  Not only middle-schoolers, but middle-schoolers that have been removed from regular schools for not doing the right thing.  Let me also remind you that middle-schoolers are mean and vengeful little creatures (in case you forgot the horror of your own middle school years).  When they smell blood, they, like Jaws, have the genetic predisposition to attack mercilessly.

But they are not attacking.  They are swimming warily around him, averting their eyes, and letting him believe he is snuffling in private. 

It's sweet. In a vengeful-creature-shows-moment-of-kindness sort of way...

The List

As I sit here watching these little turkey-butts take their state-mandated tests, I am reflecting on the various issues that have brought them to me.  Here I will list phrases used on our placement information sheet and the number of times each is used if more than once, or if privacy allows.  This is out of twenty students--some have more than one of the listed concerns:

--behavior (9)

--anger (3)

--social skills (3)

--diagnosed ADHD--medicated (4), unmedicated (3) 

--Special Education Services (some)

--Behavior Support Plan (2)

--county health services (1)

--outside counseling services--current (2), lapsed (4)

--low academics (6)

--low grades (9)

--English Language Learner (4)

--504 Plan (2)

--GATE (1)

--father in and out of rehab

--administratively placed due to incident throwing rock at teacher

--in new foster home (first time placed with all siblings), visitations with mom

--defiance and disrespect (4)

--anxious about assignments (2)

--refused to complete over 90% of assigned work

--tardies and unexcused absences (3)

--claims gang affiliation (3)

--administratively placed for buying/possessing marijuana 

--both parents deceased within last few years

--administratively placed for two incidences involving possession of a razor at school with intention to use it on a student

--lives in a group home

--administratively placed for possession of drug paraphernalia

--concerns regarding abuse in the home (3)

--impulsive--medicated (1), unmedicated (2)

--on probation due to break and enter and drug possession 

--lack of interest in school, highly sexualized

--theft 

--father seriously ill

--threatening behavior toward other students 

--selective mute

--difficulty focusing--no diagnosis (2)

--mother supportive, father in and out, 

--retained then socially promoted, physically mature, emotionally immature

--placed in foster care due to neglect, is now back home

--mother seriously ill

What troubles me most as I created this list is the inner battle I have with myself.  I don't want to describe my students by their issues.  I could easily create a list twice as long with their strengths.  I lean on their myriad strengths all day every day. Realistically though, it is not those strengths that brought them to me.  This list of concerns is still a day-to-day reality for each of them.  I can love them, teach them, and build on their strengths  (and call them George?). I can be positive, caring and supportive, but this list will still slap them in the face when they go home.  So do I play "Pollyanna" and ignore the list?  

My choice?  I spend the large percentage of each day focusing on the strengths and skills they have, they need, they might be able to develop.  I keep in mind, however, that there are always mitigating factors. While they are not excuses, they are reality.  I don't pity them, judge them, or pretend to know what they have gone through, but I keep this list in mind when making decisions each day.  That's where I am in the inner battle as of this day. 

Disturbing?

April 25, 2010

This video clip disturbs me. Shall I list the ways or shall I invite my fellow caped crusaders to tell me themselves? And let's be even-handed. What do you like and dislike about this video and related article (if you can read it without skipping most of it as I very much wanted to do:

Quote of the Week #2

Student walks in, reaches into his pocket and says, in a decent Scarface impression:

"Say 'allo to my little... "

Student pulls out a pen.


"...pen."

Student smiles.

Note: It has been pointed out to me that this little quote could be seen as threatening--at least considering the Scarface reference and the fact that the movie character does pull out a gun instead of a pen.  I did share this concern with the student just so he would know that in a typical classroom setting, he might want to keep references to violent movie scenes to his social conversations. Mostly, this just reminds me that our students today walk a social minefield.  This student truly did make up a funny joke, but MANY people pointed out to me that it could be violent.  Violence never crossed his mind, but the student could easily have been disciplined for this kind of joke.  Crazy world, huh?

Bait and Switch

Earlier this year our little program was in the depths of student misbehavior. A couple of strong role models were pretty much running the place with chronic defiance and bullying. We had tried everything we could think of to change the tide and were at a loss. By this point students had lost nearly every privilege we offered and were running amok.  We had nothing to take away from them and decided to try to start rebuilding anyway.  Basically, we tried the "bait and switch," and held our very first Spirit Day.  

We spent the day working on projects--both group and individual--that focused on goal setting and team building. We hid the serious messages by using lots of crafty supplies, playing their favorite radio station, and letting some of the casually inappropriate conversations slide.

Oddly enough, they liked it! Our students could be considered "disenfranchised" to say the least, and likely spent school activity time in detention, at home, or smoking behind the utility sheds. They may not have had the chance to be a part of a school before.


This month they started asking when the next Spirit Day would be. We were surprised, but we scheduled it for the last Friday before Spring Break (today--hurrah!). Many students asked us on a daily basis about the upcoming Spirit Day, seemed excited for it, and were even willing to call it a name like "Spirit Day." It was hard not to giggle at conversations like:

"I hate this f-in' place. I want to be suspended."

"Fool chill. Tomorrow is Spirit Day."

Today was Spirit Day #2.  We had only one absence.  One student, who is chronically absent, missed the bus.  We assumed we would not see her.  She walked in an hour later, having found a ride to school.  She was happily wearing her school shirt and matching bracelets.  Score one for the attendance books!


The message here?  If you have run out of things to take away from your students for their misbehavior, it just might be time to give them something worth having.  Schools inadvertently take away so much from kids that have so little to begin with.  Caped teachers are just as guilty of forgetting this, but we are also just as able to remember and do something about it.


Yeay! for Spirit Day (and for Spring Break!)

Nimble-minded

J. showed up in my room today with a note from the teacher next door that said "Please keep him busy as long as you can."  This means that his constant stream of chatter (most of it inappropriate) had reached its peak and needed a reset.  I reached in to the canyons of my Super Teacher mind for a way to keep him busy and found... nothing.  

Me: Tell me a story.

J: Balloons can be round and they float in the air.

Me: Okay.  Umm... what are you doing?

J: Spinning.  I like spinning.

Me: Well then!  Try spinning on one foot on the linoleum.

J: I might slip.  But I can balance on one foot.

Me: Great!  I'll time you.  How long can you balance on one foot?

J: (balancing)

Me: (timing... 27 seconds passes)

J: Now what?

It turns out this was not a Super Teacher moment, after all.

Chip-Eater

When she was told her daughter had been acting disrespectfully in school, being sassy, and not following the agreements we had made at conferences, the parent said, "Oh.  Well, you know, she HAS been eating a lot of chips lately."

This Super Teacher has no response to that.