Oh my faithful readers! Uh... reader.
I have found the perfect item with which to refresh our inspiration to teach and carry on with our amazing lives!
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| Actual receipt seen with actual eyes of an actual caped friend. |
Slow Death, it seems, is much cheaper than one might think right off the bat. Of course my first thought was "Oh goodie! This is so inexpensive! I shall purchase some!" Second thought, "Um. Wait. Wot?" So I looked it up, to see where one would purchase something of this nature. Here is what I found:
First,
Then,
I know that fish don't have feelings, but really, must we be so blatant about killing them slowly? Or, in a more positive light, perhaps it gives the fisherperson more time to save the life of said non-feeling animal?
Then,
A song by
Flamin' Groovies, a
band from Minneapolis, and some
comic books.
After that, some books.
This improved my search criteria. After reading reviews for the first book (NOT about rubber duckies), I changed my search to "Slow Death mold" on a hunch. With that search I found the second book.
Since I was still uncertain as to the purpose of this purchase (difficult to say out loud, and it made my neighbors think I was talking to them), and unwilling to believe local agencies are buying mold spores with which to kill off society, I researched uses of
urnanium uranium Other than
death and
destruction, uranium is also used in...
Fiestaware. Lovely dishes.
So... here is what I have decided. Under the guise of chemistry research, these folks are attempting to make their own Fiestaware knockoffs. The process must be slow and tedious, so they have also purchased the single Slow Death by Flamin' Groovies to entertain them. I am not sure why they spent so much on the single, but I guess they thought it was worth it..? Enjoy...
Oh, what fertile ground for a Pops's red pencil!
ReplyDeleteNot experienced in the art of fishkilling, I must still surmise the hooks' trade name must refer to the agonizing demise of the nightcrawler worms with which victims are enticed to the piscatorial phase of the ghoulish fun.
Second, "urnanium", I again must surmise, is more apt to refer to a repository for large jars or coffeemakers, than to an ingredient of colorful Spanish-party plates.
Lastly, a mere comment: contrary to the song, the Flamin'Groovies died a speedy death, having been out Jagger'd by Mick God-Is-He-Still-Doin'-That? Jagger himself, who, ironically, may be the master of all dragged-out exits.
Thanks for the silliness on a drab Sunday afternoon.