|from The Onion|
A: "It's 10:55."
B: "Nuh-uh, it's 10:54."
A: "My watch says it is"
B: "Then check your cell phone."
A: "You can't talk to me like that."
B: "You can't talk to ME like that."
Me (trying to come between them): "How about you let me take care of this?"
A: "You come here and say that to me."
B: "You are being ridiculous."
A: "YOU are being ridiculous!"
Me: (physically moving one of them away) "I will take care of this. Go stand over there."
A: "It's 10:55 now. "
B: "No it's not. It's 10:54 and 30 seconds."
A: "How dare you talk to me like this!"
B: "How dare you talk to ME like this!"
Me: "No. Really. Stop. Now. "
Here is the interesting part. This was not, as you might safely imagine, an argument between two children. This was between two staff members. And no, I am not kidding. There was yelling, posturing, name-calling, accusations. It was cah-ray-zee. Get me back to my classroom, please!!!