Seriously?

from The Onion

I had to break up a fight yesterday.  Let me share some of the phrases that were being bandied about (with some details altered to protect the guilty):

A: "It's 10:55."
B: "Nuh-uh, it's 10:54."
A: "My watch says it is"
B: "Then check your cell phone."
A: "You can't talk to me like that."
B: "You can't talk to ME like that."
Me (trying to come between them):  "How about you let me take care of this?"
A: "You come here and say that to me."
B: "You are being ridiculous."
A: "YOU are being ridiculous!"
Me: (physically moving one of them away) "I will take care of this.  Go stand over there."
A: "It's 10:55 now. "
B: "No it's not.  It's 10:54 and 30 seconds."
A:  "How dare you talk to me like this!"
B: "How dare you talk to ME like this!"
Me: "No.  Really.  Stop.  Now. "

Here is the interesting part.  This was not, as you might safely imagine, an argument between two children. This was between two staff members.  And no, I am not kidding.  There was yelling, posturing, name-calling, accusations.  It was cah-ray-zee.  Get me back to my classroom, please!!!